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Financially Ready for Marriage

19 May

At one of my Bible Study lessons, a minister said that women need to prepare for the man God purposed for them.  Women need to create a space in which a man can enter.  He even joked imitating an exchange between two women: “Friend: Girl, why are you cleaning out the other side of your garage? Woman: For my husband.  Friend: Why are you sleeping on one side of the bed? Woman: Because my husband will need room. I have to get used to sleeping on one side of the bed”

I thought it was hilarious, but all jokes aside, I agree.  I would not go to this extent. However, on a higher level this makes sense.  Whether we are single, on the verge of a relationship or in one, we should be in preparation mode, two wholes coming together to make a better whole.  I don’t think two halves coming together should expect a one, although mathematically it makes sense, “but physics, this sh*t ain’t.” It would be better said that we strengthen one another’s weaknesses.

Since we’ll forever be a work-in-progress (God is never done with us.  Our living purpose dies when we do.  Our legacy lives on), I presume we can pass several common roadblocks in marriage if we merely improve the quality of our individual lives. 

Getting my finances in order – minimal debt, great credit score, retirement, and savings – is a personal goal, as well as a relationship goal, and a standard.  I want to have the least amount of baggage entering into my marriage.  I suspect finances is one of the leading reasons marriages are either dysfunctional or broken (sorry, but I did not want to read up on the statistics and compile them). It is imperative that spending and saving habits are complimentary, as well as, financial goals.   The last thing I want to do is argue money in my relationship or future marriage. This year, I’ve made an effort to seek the best deal and figure out where to spend my money. I still enjoy eating out as well as cooking. Both are expensive, but now I check ads for prices. My friends have helped me become conscious of prices and substitutes.

So, ladies, continue financial responsibility or take it up.  Men should not have to marry debt and bad credit, too.  Although this is geared towards women, it is also applicable to men.  “I don’t want no scrub.  A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me.  Hanging out the passenger side of his bestfriend’s ride trying to holla at me.”  Hahahahahaha. 

I subscribed with Learn Vest, a site about finances intended for women.  It is relatable and easy to read.  They somehow made finances feminine, subject matters women deal with financially. Today, one of their tweets read Spring Cleaning: Don’t forget your finances!  Check them out. You can also check out www.mint.com.

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For All the Wrong Reasons

2 May

  Before

After

If  you’re like me (and unlike Misch) you feel easily judged by others. I HATE feeling judged or feeling like I’m at the butt of an awkward joke. About 2 weeks ago Mischalay came by for a visit and we were discussing clothing. I opened up my closet to reach for an item and immediately halted in my tracks because of the blood curdling gasp that escaped from her mouth.

Me: “WHAT! What happened, are you okay?”

Misch: “OH MY GOD!” *in her most dramatic tone*

Me: “What!!! What’s wrong!”

Misch: “Your closet! What is wrong with you! That is absolutely ridiculous….[insert the teacher’s voice from the comic Peanuts]”

She then proceeded to get up from the chair and rifle through my clothes in disgust…

Misch: “How do you find anything? Your skirts, dresses and pants are all mixed up, your shoes have no order and its not even color coordinated!”

By this time, I was mortified that not only had she put me on BLAST for how my closet looked but she took it step further and provided me with an itemized list as to why my closet was such a catastrophe.

Shortly after, she left [not sure if she really had to go or if she was that offended by my closet]. I sat there and stared…for about a good hour a stewed in embarrassment and contempt (mostly at myself) because my secret was out. My name is Megan and I have a terribly messy closet.

Fast forward 1 week later…besides feeling overwhelmed after the funeral (My Gandpa just passed) my normal paranoia began to seep in and I decided then and there- SCREW MISCH, I’m cleaning my closet! 2 days, 8 hefty over-sized trash-bags and 5 phone calls designating several items to appreciative people, my closet was cleaned. I sat on my bed looking at my completed work…then the anger began to boil in my body, I immediately grabbed the phone.

Misch: “Hey Meggy Poo!”

Me: “Don’t you Meggy Poo me! I cleaned up my flippin’ closet!”

Misch: “That’s great! It’s about time….you should’ve had that thing cleaned like yesterday!”

Me: “NO! I hate you! You judged me, I cleaned it and now I have no clothes and [insert 2 minute rant/tell off]…I will not be speaking to you for the remainder of the day!”

Misch: *insert uncontrollable laughter*

Although my closet probably was long overdue for a major cleaning overhaul, at this particular point in time I cleaned it for all the wrong reasons. Although this might seem a little dramatic to some of you (and it probably is a tad bit) I’ve come to realize that a lot of times in my life, more often than not, I tend to make the right decisions for all the wrong reasons.

I’ve never been one to break the rules or go against the grain and truthfully, I’m not sure if its because I am just a goody-two shoes or is it because I just don’t want to feel like others think I’m wrong. Despite what people think or the input some people may give you in regards to your life, at the end of the day the key words are YOUR LIFE. If I’ve learned anything from my Gandpa and the removal of 3/4’s of my closet it’s that I can no longer do things just because “it’s right”. What’s good for the gander is not always great for the goose.

This post is probably a little silly but the moral of the story is to do what fits you (as long as its not drugs, lying, cheating, stealing or anything morally compromising). So what if you’re turning 30 and still have no princess/prince charming, live your life to the fullest until he/she comes to sweep you off your feet. It’s alright if you are going back for your masters at 25 and your best friend had her’s at 23, ultimately things have to be done in your own pace on your own time. If you do what “your supposed to do” but its done for all the wrong reasons you will not be happy with the decision you’ve made.

Misch can comfortably go through her closet…I have to prepare myself for the amount of disdain I will every time I swing one of the doors open.

I hate you Mischalay.

Happy Monday!

Au Naturale

3 Feb

Going back a few posts ago to the New Years Revolution entry, I made a commitment to embrace myself and my beauty so I have done the unthinkable (well unthinkable if you know me really well)….*drum roll* Acrylic nails off & the Weave is GONE!

Yes, GONE!!! And its the most liberating feeling in the world! After I finished doing my hair and looked in the mirror and saw the bare basics staring back at me, I was quite happy. My hair, tight curls and all (thanks mommy) was amazing, my skin flawless and my nails well…that is still taking some getting used too!

In Highschool, I used to wear contacts (half for seeing and the other to change up my dark brown eye color). Coming from a family where the majority of them have light eyes, I was so pleased to finally have some light brown eyes looking back at me, so I NEVER took them off. They became just as much apart of me as my skin color until one day, I was sick and couldn’t put them on. Everyone’s reaction was “Why aren’t you wearing those pretty brown contacts?” and it hit me, Why should I have to wear those pretty brown contacts when I have pretty dark brown eyes… I only put them in once more after this for prom and looking back at those pictures I regret it.

The same goes for a weave and acrylic nails. It started off being an every now and then thing tovput a few tracks in to add some length or some thickness and then it was every 8 weeks-NEW FULL HEAD WEAVE w/ my crown out. Don’t get me wrong, it was slamming! I definitely kept that bad boy up and we had some great times together…the problem was, it was a security blanket for beauty. It got to a point where I wouldn’t even want people to see my real hair out…that’s when it hit me. YOU HAVE HAIR, and its a good texture and it has length so what is wrong with MY HAIR without any weave assistance. So after much contemplating, and studying http://www.themoptopmaven.com and her journey to natural hair I committed and decided to go all natural (no pressing, no flat ironing and especially NO WEAVING).

Don’t get confused, this was a very hard (and superficial) decision, but after being so comfortable seeing myself with a weave in for so long I had to overcome feelings of doubt and insecurity and I’m so glad I did. Will I stay weave and straightening free forever, maybe or maybe not….but as of now I’m rocking the ALL NATURAL ME…and I love it!!!