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THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT WORDS…

6 Jun

When dealing with matters of the heart there are two words that will be the key to maintaining a happy balance. These two words will pull you from the brink of tragedy when you you think your relationship is doomed. These two words have leveled the playing field in love AND war.

I’m sorry.

1) Learn these words. 2) Try not to have to use them often. 3) Don’t hesitate to use when necessary.

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the non-dating game

12 Oct

I’m not dating anymore. I’ve decided that the next person I decide to enter a committed relationship in should be my husband, therefore all other “non-husband quality” candidates need not apply. I’m tired of dating and committing a year of my life to something or someone that I knew from Day 1 didn’t have what I needed. Not all men are dogs and not all men suck, but not all men are for me and I have decided that rather than squalor my value by continuing to enter in meaningless “situations” I will be by myself and focus on bettering myself so that when Mr. Right does come I will be prepared and ready to be the best wife/future mother of his kid(s) that I am destined to be.  So for all prospective Non-Mr. Right suitors, please see below:

Dear Mr. Not Right For Me:

It’s occurred to me that I have continously dated you over and over again over my 20 some years of life and now I’ve come back to that same crossroads .  Its my fault that guys like you repeatedly come along in my life and get me to sign up for a two-year plan that ends up being nothing more than a relationship with an expiration date (kind of like my phone contract with Verizon, only I decide to cancel instead of renewing).

It’s not that you’re a bad man, on the contrary you’re fantastic for someone else.You’re just not the right man for me.  And no, you didn’t do a thing, actually its me.  Despite the amazing person you are for someone else, I see that the grass is greener on the other side and my roaming eyes have  me seeing qualities and behaviors in Mr. Right that you don’t even know exist exhibit and that’s where the problem lies.

No, there is nobody else yet, however when he finally comes I will definitely know.

Mr. Right is the one who knows love when he finds it and knows just what to do to maintain it. After taking notice of friends and other couples in committed (intended on marriage relationships) and I witnessed some beautiful exchanges, actions, gestures and words that I have never even considered possible with men I’ve dated in the past.  There must be a class on “love gestures” that I need to take.

Mr. Right will have the same traditional and moral principles as relates to a relationship as I do. Mr. Right recognizes that love at our age is difficult to find and must be cherished and nurtured like a garden.  He won’t think it’s something you can flip like channels on a remote control and is dependant on how the market is doing phone or write in once or twice a week like a feature story about something else.  He doesn’t believe he has learned, seen or done it all.  Instead, he lives his life (now) as if he has missed out on so much and marvels at what each new day will bring.

I KNOW I’M NOT PERFECT and have done my fair share at damaging relationships and may not be deserving of the kind of attention I’m requesting from a future husband.  And yes, maybe I’ve been a little more closed off and hard to get close too (I can admit that more often than not being with me is like cuddling with a cactus) BUT this wonderful relationship I seek is a brand new start and commitment I’m willing to make to myself and moreover my future mate.

Thank you for being a gentleman and trying to make things work. I hope that your future wife is as deserving of you as you are of her, but that girl just ain’t me.

Love,

The Good Wife that isn’t for you

(Please know that this letter is unisex and can be applied both ways)

l.o.v.e. and other disasters

28 Sep

love- (noun) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.  a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

Most people have experienced love, and if you’re not married or currently with your love, you’ve probably experienced the other disaster: heart break.

To be completely transparent, I’ve had my heart broken in some horrible ways, but I have also been the cause of heart break. Although I’ve never cheated, because of past pains I was emotionally cut off and unattached which meant that no matter how much a guy loved me or expressed his love to me I was not capable of returning this affection back to them.

Until earlier this year, I frequently said the following things: love is overrated, love doesn’t exist, I’m not capable of falling in love [insert any other anti-love phrase here]. But after being realistic that I did want to eventually get married and have kids, I realized I had to open myself up to love.

In 10th grade I broke my ankle cheerleading. It hurt, it sucked, I was in a lot of pain, BUT as soon as that ankle heeled up I was back to jumping around with my pom-poms and cheering at pep rallies and games. So if I didn’t give up on cheerleading, why would I give up on love.

Despite all the frogs I had to kiss, and the times I felt let down, ultimately I know (after seeing those around me) that when you do find that one person, it makes all the pain and heartache worth it. If you’re not open to the idea of love every time you approach a new relationship, you could possibly miss out on the love you’ve been waiting for.

Mourn the loss of your love. Give yourself time to heal. Move on to the next one.

Love is not easy and can be a small disaster at times, but the real disaster is to never love at all. Open your heart and find strength in the fact that one day you will stumble upon the person God designed especially for you.

-megofthegoodwives and former Black Heart

Something About 25…

20 Sep

Is it just me or is their something that happens in between 24 and 25? Its like you all of a sudden become self aware, insecure and re-think all the decision’s you’ve made in the past 24 and 1/2 years of life.

It is amazing the changes I (along with my friends) have made trying to correct, undo or redo choices we’ve made all on our quest to fulfill the plan we created at 21 about who we wanted to be at 25.

At 21 I expected the following things at 25:

1) Be engaged or in a long term relationship

2) Living in a fab apartment somewhere by the beach

3) Finished with law school and working my way up at some hot shot Bev Hills law firm

4) Still wearing a size 6

5) To be incredibly successful, happy and living a comfortable life

My Reality at 24 approaching 25 in 2 months:

1) Let’s hope I’m in a long term relationship by 30, engaged by 32 and have my first kid at 35

2) I live in the same fabulous room I grew up in, only with way better furniture that  I’m proud to say I purchased myself (this is after moving out and moving back in)

3) Fast forward 6 months after I turned 21, decided I didn’t want to be a lawyer, skipped out on law school, got on the fast track career path in entertainment, travelled around the world, picked up life experiences and NOW am re-routing my career path back to corporate America

4) I am still wearing a size 6+(insert 4 or 6 here depending on what I am trying to fit into)

5) I have recently embarked on a path to be the best person I can possibly be which will ultimately lead me to feeling comfortable in myself, happy with my choices and incredibly successful at creating my own path in life

A lot has changed. A lot is different. And finally I am okay with this. I think our twenties is the time for us to learn who we are and who we want to be, and in order to do that we are going to have to move forward, start from square 1, pick ourselves up, rise, fall and so on. The person who I was at 21 is completely different from the person I am now that I’m approaching 25. Rather than beating myself up for not having a fab apartment somewhere  I am happy to say that I am financially secure and now that I am transitioning careers I don’t have to worry about digging into my savings to survive. Instead of being in a long term relationship I have decided to work on myself so when I do meet Mr. Right I will be whole heartedly ready to embark on a journey with him. So what I didn’t go to law school, I’m not currently working 75 hours at a law firm working my way up while struggling to pay back my student loans doing something I didn’t want to do.

Now that 25 is approaching and I am reviewing, recalculating and re-doing some of the choices I’ve made I can honestly say that I look at all my friends and myself and I am proud at the people we have become and are continuing to evolve into.

(However, I do hope to be back in a size 6 by the end of the year….[don’t judge me])

-Meg of the Good Wives

Get Yo Mind Right Kid…

15 Sep

In the year 2010 I have been a vegan, pescatarian, master cleanser. Bascially you name it and I’ve done it all in an attempt to miraculously shed pounds. Amazingly, it did work for the 12 days I could stand to put up with the unrealistic sacrifice I was making to achieve the Melyssa Ford body I desired [despite the fact she’s a video girl, no one can deny that she has an AMAZING body].

Like many people I always assumed that a smaller waist line determined my health but truth be told whether I was a size 5 or a 10 didn’t help my asthma get better, didn’t stop my endometriosis from making me any less sicker and my hypoglecemia never subsided….why was that? Because I wasn’t healthy.

I’m turning 25 in two months and I have finally decided that I am going to be healthy. Not just physically fit or skinny but that I am ultimately going to strive for great health and that I am looking for a significant change by my 25th birthday which is 11/22/2010. To achieve total wellness I have enlisted my “Dream Team” which includes my Internal Medicine Doctor, Chiropractor/Herbalist, Nutritionist and lastly, a Counselor. Rather than simply running on the treadmill I am really going to strive to be whole mind, body and soul.

Now, it does sound a little extreme but if I can invest in my wardrobe it doesn’t make sense to not invest in myself. People always complain about eating right, gym memberships and doctor’s expenses but if you really think about these are the same people who have no problem eating out all the time, buying the trendiest clothes and running up their bar tab. Instead fo spending money on frivilous things I am choosing to invest in something that really matters, a healthy life.

Namaste.

-Meg The GWC

Can I Take You Out Tonight?

2 Sep

This post is dedicated to the wonderful MEN that surround us (and that we pick their brains for advice from time to time).

The Good Wives are equal opportunist, and by this I mean we feel that just as much as a woman needs to be wined and dined, so do men every now and then. However, being that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, their ideas of wining and dining are as different as the very planets they reside on, so I took the liberty of picking the brains of some close male friends and asked them “What is you’re ideal date”.

These 3 men, although very good friends, are COMPLETELY different, but the 1 thing they all had in common was wanting something affordable, out of the box and to ultimately have a good time. I am going to break down the dates into 3 types of men so you can gather which male you’re dating and choose accordingly.

1) Mr. Smooth

For this type of male, the price tag is not what impresses him as much as the delivery of the date. This guy is not one really into adventure as much as he is into exploring a new facet of something familiar. His ideal date is: THE BEACH. A great option for this guy is Venice Beach. Venice Beach is a So Cal mainstay, however it always has new and exciting things to offer. On Friday’s in particular, skip the expensive restaurant, head down to Abbot Kinney and enjoy the variety of cuisines offered by the gourmet food trucks. Yes, food trucks. Food trucks are usually about $3-5/per item and rather than just visiting Asia, you can visit Asia, Mexico, France and New Orleans all within in a 10 foot radius. After dining, take a walk along Abbot Kinney to some of the FREE hipster art galleries or grab some drinks and listen to a local band (FOR FREE). I am positively sure that after you grub and dance the night away, Mr. Smooth will truly appreciate the great time and the effort put forth.

2) Mr. Intellect

This guy is down to do anything that will give him a challenge or provide him with something intriguing. Since we live in the land of canyons, why not pack up your backpack, throw on your tennis shoes and take this curious man out for a hike. An ideal hiking space would be Griffith Park. After hiking, you can lay out a spread of food (from your backpack) and have a nice picnic at the top of the hill, spend quality time talking and then check out the observatory which always has some new and interesting  fact to learn. Your beau won’t just have an amazing time, but he will be impressed at your open-mindedness to try a new adventure and your creativity.

3) The Charmer

This guy just wants one thing, FUN. Hit a local happy hour at a local bar or restaurant you don’t usually frequent (my recommendation is Lucille’s), toss back a few, grub up a little and head straight to the batting cages, Boomers or Camelot and take him back to his childhood with go-karts, miniature golf, and arcade games. While this date isn’t free, it definitely isn’t a pocket breaker and gives you two the opportunity to truly have fun, just like you did as a kid. I can guarantee that after a few drinks, a full stomach and a few hours of fun, you will definitely find that this guy is more than happy to snuggle up to you in appreciation for the out of the box night you gave him.

So ladies, let your beau know that the next date is on you and take our advice above. I can guarantee he will be beyond a happy camper!

Special Thanks to Glenn, Cecil & Chris!

-Meg of the GWC

Miami in the OC

2 Sep

If you know me, you would obviously know by now that one of my FAVORITE vacays of all time was: Miami. The white sandy beaches, the crystal blue water, the amazing shopping, the nightlife, the amazing boutique hotels and most importantly the FOOD!

Being the newbie foodie I am, food definitely contributes to my overall experience when visiting or frequenting a location. Miami was not only on point with the variety of food they had to offer, but they gave me one of the best dishes I’ve EVER had- Crab Avocat at the Blue Door Restaurant inside the Delano Hotel.

This was the perfect appetizer, not only did it provide multiple textures in the dish but the many flavors seemed to dance on my palette even after I finished my main course. As a matter of fact, every time I think of Miami, 1st I think beach and 2nd, I think CRAB AVOCAT.

After a year of imagining this tantalizing dish, FINALLY I’ve found a recipe that might be able to give me a taste of Miami in the comfort of my home.

CRAB AVOCAT

  • 1 ripe avocado
  • 3 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt, plus more for seasoning
  • 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
  • Pinch white pepper
  • 1/2 pound lump crabmeat
  • 2 tablespoons chopped chives

Directions

Pit and peel the avocado and cut it into 1/2-inch chunks. In a small bowl toss the avocado chunks gently with 1 tablespoon of the lemon juice and season with salt to taste. In a medium bowl, whisk together remaining lemon juice, 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard, pinch of white pepper, and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Add crabmeat and toss.

Stand an empty 15-ounce can with both top and bottom removed on a serving plate. Scoop a quarter of the avocado into the can. Place 1/4 of the crabmeat on top and press down gently into the mold. Gently pull the can off the avocado and crab mixture. Garnish with a half teaspoon of chives. Repeat with the remaining 3 servings and serve.

Per Serving:

Calories 150; Total Fat 8 g; (Sat Fat 1 g, Mono Fat 5 g, Poly Fat 1 g) ; Protein 15 g; Carb 5 g; Fiber 3 g; Cholesterol 65 mg; Sodium 390 mg

I am going to try the recipe today exactly how it states up here and then make necessary changes (if need be) to spice it up. But, if you want a taste of the tropical lifestyle of Miami but can’t afford to shell out the money for a plane ticket or hotel just cook this up, grab a chair and a mojito and bask in the glory of this South Beach delicacy.