the non-dating game

12 Oct

I’m not dating anymore. I’ve decided that the next person I decide to enter a committed relationship in should be my husband, therefore all other “non-husband quality” candidates need not apply. I’m tired of dating and committing a year of my life to something or someone that I knew from Day 1 didn’t have what I needed. Not all men are dogs and not all men suck, but not all men are for me and I have decided that rather than squalor my value by continuing to enter in meaningless “situations” I will be by myself and focus on bettering myself so that when Mr. Right does come I will be prepared and ready to be the best wife/future mother of his kid(s) that I am destined to be.  So for all prospective Non-Mr. Right suitors, please see below:

Dear Mr. Not Right For Me:

It’s occurred to me that I have continously dated you over and over again over my 20 some years of life and now I’ve come back to that same crossroads .  Its my fault that guys like you repeatedly come along in my life and get me to sign up for a two-year plan that ends up being nothing more than a relationship with an expiration date (kind of like my phone contract with Verizon, only I decide to cancel instead of renewing).

It’s not that you’re a bad man, on the contrary you’re fantastic for someone else.You’re just not the right man for me.  And no, you didn’t do a thing, actually its me.  Despite the amazing person you are for someone else, I see that the grass is greener on the other side and my roaming eyes have  me seeing qualities and behaviors in Mr. Right that you don’t even know exist exhibit and that’s where the problem lies.

No, there is nobody else yet, however when he finally comes I will definitely know.

Mr. Right is the one who knows love when he finds it and knows just what to do to maintain it. After taking notice of friends and other couples in committed (intended on marriage relationships) and I witnessed some beautiful exchanges, actions, gestures and words that I have never even considered possible with men I’ve dated in the past.  There must be a class on “love gestures” that I need to take.

Mr. Right will have the same traditional and moral principles as relates to a relationship as I do. Mr. Right recognizes that love at our age is difficult to find and must be cherished and nurtured like a garden.  He won’t think it’s something you can flip like channels on a remote control and is dependant on how the market is doing phone or write in once or twice a week like a feature story about something else.  He doesn’t believe he has learned, seen or done it all.  Instead, he lives his life (now) as if he has missed out on so much and marvels at what each new day will bring.

I KNOW I’M NOT PERFECT and have done my fair share at damaging relationships and may not be deserving of the kind of attention I’m requesting from a future husband.  And yes, maybe I’ve been a little more closed off and hard to get close too (I can admit that more often than not being with me is like cuddling with a cactus) BUT this wonderful relationship I seek is a brand new start and commitment I’m willing to make to myself and moreover my future mate.

Thank you for being a gentleman and trying to make things work. I hope that your future wife is as deserving of you as you are of her, but that girl just ain’t me.


The Good Wife that isn’t for you

(Please know that this letter is unisex and can be applied both ways)


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